Trauma Comes in All Forms—Big and Small: How to Heal and Reclaim Your Life

Have you ever noticed that sometimes the smallest things trigger the biggest emotional reactions? Maybe it’s a casual remark from a friend that sticks with you for days, or a minor disagreement that leaves you feeling completely overwhelmed. You’re left wondering, Why does something so small affect me so much?

You’re not alone in feeling this way. Often, these intense reactions stem from what we call “little t” traumas—those seemingly insignificant moments that actually leave a deep emotional mark. They might seem minor, but they can shape how we think, feel, and behave in ways we don’t even realise.

Big T vs. Little t Trauma: Both Leave a Mark

When we hear the word "trauma," we tend to think of “Big T” traumas—things like abuse, serious accidents, or a life-changing loss. These are the obvious, deeply painful events that we all recognise as traumatic.

But “little t” traumas are different. These are the smaller, more subtle experiences that still leave scars. Maybe you grew up feeling ignored, were criticised often, or felt like you never quite measured up. These experiences might not seem as dramatic as the big traumas, but they have a way of sinking deep into your subconscious, shaping how you see yourself and the world around you.

And just like Anne, you may not even realise how much these past experiences are still influencing your behaviour today. Anne was determined to change—she wanted to stop people-pleasing and finally set boundaries—but no matter how hard she tried, she always ended up back where she started. It wasn’t until she started exploring the root causes of her behaviour that she realised those old “little t” traumas were still quietly running the show.

Why Small Experiences Can Trigger Big Reactions

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, Why did I react like that? Maybe a tiny, off-hand comment sends you spiralling into self-doubt, or a small conflict makes you feel like your whole world is falling apart. These strong reactions are often your subconscious mind’s way of bringing up old, unresolved emotions.

It’s not that you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting.” Your subconscious mind is working behind the scenes, holding onto those old beliefs and emotions, and sometimes the smallest trigger can bring them rushing to the surface.

These hidden traumas can keep us stuck in cycles we don’t even realise we’re in—whether it’s struggling with confidence, falling into the same types of toxic relationships, or never feeling like we’re truly enough. But the good news is, once we start to acknowledge and heal those old wounds, things can start to change.

Recognising the Invisible Barriers

It’s not always easy to spot these invisible barriers, but they show up in so many ways:

• You might struggle with confidence, even when you’ve accomplished great things.

• Setting boundaries might feel impossible, because deep down, you fear rejection.

• You might keep falling into unhealthy relationship patterns, even when you know they aren’t serving you.

• Or maybe you constantly find yourself putting others’ needs ahead of your own, feeling drained and unappreciated.

If any of these sound familiar, it’s worth considering that these patterns could be connected to unhealed trauma—whether it’s “Big T” or “Little t.”

It’s Time to Heal from the Hidden Traumas Shaping Your Life

You don’t have to stay stuck in these patterns. Healing is possible, and it starts with acknowledging the emotional wounds that are quietly shaping your daily life. Once you begin to heal those hidden parts of yourself, you’ll start to notice those old patterns fading away.

Imagine waking up feeling confident, setting boundaries without guilt, and finally feeling free from the need to please others. It might seem like a big leap, but it’s absolutely possible. And the first step is recognising that the old, unhealed traumas—no matter how big or small—are still influencing you today.

Let’s Take the First Step Together

I know this might feel overwhelming or even unfamiliar territory, but you don’t have to navigate this alone. The journey to healing is a deeply personal one, and I’m here to guide you through it. Together, we’ll explore what’s been holding you back, heal those hidden wounds, and start building the life you truly want.

If any part of this resonates with you, I’d love to connect and chat about how I can support you on this journey. Sometimes, the hardest part is simply taking that first step—and you’ve already made it this far. Let’s keep going.